Weekend Wrap-up

Boyfriend went out of town to see a Phish concert and while he was away, I had a really nice weekend. Between taking him to the airport and picking him up from the airport I:

- Finished catching up with Lost. Good golly, it feels good to be done, not that I didn't enjoy watching it. Pumped for season 6!

-Watched all of Weeds season 4, just in time to watch the season premiere tonight! (In just one hour from now!)

-Finished dishcloth 4 of 4 for an upcoming present (for someone who definitely does not read this blog but I'm still going to keep it at least slightly secret here). This one I did while watching all that tv I just mentioned.

-Went to the local farmer's market! Bought apple butter, honey, goat cheese (chevre), and a bag of salad. Persevered through washing the salad despite finding an inch worm, slug, green flying thing (aphid?), endless little tiny black flying things, and a lady bug. I felt bad about squashing the lady bug, but it had to be done. I also petted a bunch of handspun yarn, but alas, it's too pricey for my budget and too scratchy to be any of the projects that I have in mind right now.

-Went bowling and did not too badly.

-Did a little yoga, thanks to this site. It kicked my ass a little, I really haven't worked out at all since February (and I wasn't that consistent about it before then either). I'm sore.

-Slept a lot. Which is particularly good because I really haven't followed up much on my previous intentions to sleep more.

-Made some art! A moonscape in pastels on canvas. Pastels feel a bit like glorified crayons with my skill level, and that's kind of what it winds up looking like, but I really enjoy this one and I'm going to hang it over my bed. And hopefully post a picture here too.

It was a good weekend. I missed Aaron but it was really satisfying to do so much that was all about me. =)

I feel fat... Gonna try to sleep it off

I've talked about my scale before. I dislike how much I weigh. And it's not just the number, I dislike how I feel in my jeans (and these are jeans that I bought last summer because I was feeling fat in the jeans I had before that) and my arms are getting flabbier and my waist is getting thicker. And I ate three doughnuts at work today.

My new year's resolution was to either get down to 130 pounds - or, if I fail at that, resolve to stop caring about my weight forevermore. So far this year I've put on about 6 pounds. hmmm.

I've tried different stuff and usually something works for as long as I can stand to stick with it. The Sonoma Diet worked well for me but I lost so much so quick right in the beginning (5 pounds in 5 days) that I freaked out and stopped doing it all together. And it made me a little crazy about my food: I almost started crying once because my mom made something for dinner that involved white flour and I didn't want to offend her so I ate it. I almost started crying about eating a refined grain. I become an emotional cripple when it comes to diets that scare you into eating healthy.

And that seems to be the major issue for me, I don't want to do something that makes me mad at food. Or guilty about food. Or scared about food. I have too much inclination to go off the deep end with it.

B posted this about a picture food diary. I've done food diaries before, but it's the same guilt/anger issue for me. I don't want to be shamed into eating less. I do like the idea of using pictures more than just writing it down, cause then maybe you're more inclined to see patterns, and you're doing the recording before you do the consuming... But still.

Then I read this and I'm so all over it. Sleep more and lose 10 pounds? Sounds perfect. I need to lose more than that to get to 130 but still, it's a hell of a start. And I love sleeping. I was already thinking about how I wished I got more sleep more consistently. So I'm going to try it and I'll let you know how it goes. =)

Crochet rug update later. I've hit a decision point and I'm in need of advice. I'll post about it when I have access to the pictures on my camera.

Thinner - or - How my scale ironically scares me into eating

I have a bad habit of weighing myself every morning. When I'm standing on the scale, I'm focused on the number (and it never makes me happy which is why I consider it a bad habit). But when I'm in there doin my business (what kind of blog is this!??!) sometimes I look over at the scale on the floor. The brand name is Thinner, which I kind of have issues with. Why can't the name be something that invokes the idea of being healthy, not just thinner? The font actually gets skinnier over the word too. The T is nice and thick and the R is all slim and withered away. Kinda weird.

But the real issue here is that it always reminds me of "Thinner": the only Stephen King movie I have watched other than "Carrie". (Has anyone not seen "Carrie"? I had to read the book for a Women's Studies class in college and it was super interesting. Freaked me out for sure, but it made for a great class discussion.) In "Thinner," A kind of douchey overweight dude does something kind of douchey to a gypsy family and gets cursed to keep losing weight. So he keeps losing weight till he looks like a shrunken head. I don't remember how it ends. Oddly I saw this in the theater when it came out, not on VHS at some torturous bad-movie-watching-party (which is a theme that has cropped up in multiple circles of friends of mine). This theater to be precise. At least I didn't pay much for it.

So now when I look at my scale I think about how much I don't want to look like a shrunken head and then I go eat a lot.